Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
