I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
