and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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