can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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