I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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