If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
