sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
