$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
