I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
