I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
