girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
