Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
