It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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