Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize