i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
