I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
