I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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