I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
