I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
