She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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