Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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