My nipple is on Facebook.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
