Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
