marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
