Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
