I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
