so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
