I need help removing her.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize