Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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