Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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