A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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