I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
