the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
