Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
