I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Send help, water and tortillas.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
