so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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