I'm lost and stupid without you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
