This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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