nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
