The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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