too bad you live with your parents still
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize