My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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