So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
