I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
