I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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