I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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