people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
