He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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