i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
