I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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