oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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