Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
