I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't deserve a penis
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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