Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
not ubering you a puppy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
