I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
