I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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