She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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