honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
