yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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