distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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