Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize