Yo dont text me then not text me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
well you can't waste a boner
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
