its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They have beer where we have blood.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
