I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
