mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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