So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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