Im at strip club and am horny
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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