Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
