Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
