He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
